The Adventures of Liechtenstein and Molossia
by BecomeOneWithMotherRussiaDa
Summary: Vash goes out, Liechtenstein and Molossia go to a dance club and arson based threats are made. (So crack, basically.) Rated T for swearing and general 1920's gangster attitudes.


**Okay. This fic isn't Scotland-centric like my usual fics, but I love how I writing Liechtenstein as the bitchy one who sleeps with everyone, so I'm writing fic with her as the main character instead.**

**There isn't a canon name for Molossia as far as I'm aware, so for the purposes of this, his name is Michael/Micky. When he's speaking, imagine how Al Capone would speak, that's how he's supposed to sound.**

**Hope you enjoy it :)**

"Auf Wiedersehen, Lilli. I'll be back by 10am tomorrow, I have really important business to attend to. You know where the guns are, if anyone breaks in, protect yourself, okay?" Vash told me before kissing my forehead.

"Auf Wiedersehen big Bruder." I say sweetly, smiling at Vash as he leaves the house. Time to get ready.

Kicking my Mary Janes off, I run upstairs to my bedroom and open my wardrobe.

"Now, where is it?" I ask myself, looking through the back of the wardrobe for the little black dress that Micky bought for me. He always buys me such nice things. Having finally found the dress, I took my innocent pink dress off and pulled on the black one. Slipping my feet into the black stilettos I hide under my bed, I dialled Micky's number and called him.

"What is it, dollface?"

"He's gone, you can drive around now." Because Switzy gives me a fricking week warning before he goes anywhere, I call Micky, give him a time and date, he waits for me.

"See ya in a few, sweetcheeks." He said, hanging up.

I run downstairs and lock the door behind me. Micky is already parked up in front of the house, so I run out of the garden and jump onto the back of his motorbike.

"Where to, sugar?" I asked him. He takes me to the best places.

"I gots to have words with this roach that owns a dance joint, babydoll."

"The one that we got kicked out off last week?" All we did was rough up the bartender because he wouldn't serve us cocktails. He could still walk, I dont see what the issue was.

"You got it. Vinny and Ronni are already at the place, we just gotta catch them up." Vinny and Ronni work for Micky, they're really nice. Vinny's the best card counter there is, and Ronni's the muscles.

"Let's do this." He started the bike and we drove off to the club.

"Micky! The clown guarding the door won't let us in." Vinny says the moment we arrive, meeting us a street over from the dance place.

"I got this one, sweetie." I sat, hoping off the bike and straightening my dress out.

"Ronni, you follow her, make sure she don't get hurt. Vinny, you stick with me." I kiss Micky on the cheek before taking Ronni's arm and walking the short trip to the club. The bouncer outside is about 6' foot 2, not very muscly but his height makes him look intimidating. We got this.

"Okay Ronni, this is what we do. I kick him in the balls, then we run in, find the backdoor and ring Micky." Simple enough. Probably shouldn't have worn stilettos if I'm kicking people in the dick, but oh well.

"Yes Miss Lilli." So polite. I like that. We stood at the back of the relatively short line and we were at the front within 5 minutes of being there.

"ID- Wait, you and that skinny creep tried to get in earlier. Beat it kid, you and your broad." Fucking excuse me?! I took my heel off and using all the force I could manage, I forced my foot into his dick, causing him to double over in pain. Ronni pushed him down, and after I put my heel back on, I put one foot on his chest, keeping him on the floor.

"Never call me a broad again, you got that?" I growled before we ran inside and quickly found the back door to the joint.

"Micky, we're in. We're at the back door now." Ronni said whilst on the phone to Micky. I picked the lock with my hairpin and opened the door to reveal Micky and Vinny stood there.

"How'd you get in?" Micky asked me.

"I kicked him on the balls, babe. It was beautiful." I told him, kissing him on the cheek.

"That's my gal. Let's find the sleezeball that owns this place."

"Ey Micky, there's a door here that says 'Staff Only'." Ronni yelled across the room. Idiot. He's nice, but he's an idiot.

"So you're the kids that snuck in, huh? The manager wants to see you about your kicking the bouncer." God damn it. I'm not going to prison again.

"We didn't kick the bouncer!" Smooth.

"Come with me." So I'm going to take a wild stab in the dark here in saying that he doesn't believe us.

"So, youse the dick that owns this joint?" Micky spat when we reached the manager's office. He doesn't look like a manager. He looks like a drunk man who got lost on his way out.

"Woah, big words for a short stack. Sit down, you want a cigar? Brandy?" Urgh, so that's what that smell is, dingy cigar smoke.

"No thanks. Hop on Lils." After Micky sat down, I sat on his knee. There was more than one chair, but Vinny and Ronni were using them.

"I heard you and your little gang here caused me some trouble last week, and now you've returned and caused harm to one of my workers. Those unfortunate events have found you in a hole only I can get you out off." Get a load of Lemony Snicket over here!

"Listen, we don't want no trouble. Your guys was harrassing my pals and lovely Lil on my lap here, so we did what was right. All we wanted was some drinks at that little bar downstairs, and a few dances. But no, we gets kicked out because we ain't old enough. We were payin', who gives a damn about the law." He's got such a way with words.

"Okay. We can talk this out, and by that I mean I talks and you keep your dirty mouth shut, or my pals over here give the signal, and my guys outside torch the building." Jonny and Benni are here too? The whole gang's together! Oh it's been months since I've seen them all! Jonny and Benni have been laying low for a while, something about setting an abandoned bus on fire, I think.

"I don't want no trouble guys, no need to get nasty. You lot and your little group project on Capone's knee over here had best be getting outta here. The cops are on their way, I warned you last time I would get the Law involved, and seeing as how you've kicked my bouncer in the balls, the Law is becoming involved. Your little arson threat could put you away for a while." Did he just call me the group project?! Fuck that. I gave Micky a look and he nodded in understanding, pushing the chair out a little so I could stand.

"So I'm the group project, huh?" I said, sitting on the table in front of him.

"Get down, little lady. This is man talk." Now I know he did not just say that.

"How's this for a little lady?" I cracked my knuckles and punched him square in his ugly face, knocking him off of his chair. That hurt my hand, shit. I'll fix it later.

"Time to go guys, we ain't going to jail again." Micky said calmly. I hopped off of the table, the guys stood up, and we ran out of the dude's office just as he was hauling his fat arse off of the ground.

"Stop those kids!" He cried as I slid down the banister and waited for the guys at the bottom of the stairs. I quickly took my shoes off, something which in hindsight I should have done much sooner, and followed Micky to where he put the bike. Ronni and Vinny yelled goodbye as they got into their getaway car, a little fancy black thing, and Micky started the bike and sped off, away from the club and away from the owner stood outside screaming and shouting to us.

He pulled up outside my house and parked his bike.

"He wouldn't have the Police sweet thing, you know that right?" He said quietly.

"Did you cut his phone line, Micky?"

"Course. Ain't havin' no scrub like that guy stopping me from showing you a good time. How's your hand?"

"My hand is fine, Micky. You'd best be going baby. Last time you stayed outside for too long, you dropped your gloves and I had to make up some shit to Vash, sweetie." I told him I had no idea where they came from. Original, am I right?

"Okay doll, I'll catch you later. I gotta get back to the casinos, can't have 'em hustling me." He smiled, kissing me on the cheek before he left. I unlocked the front door and walked back inside, locking the door behind me.

I walked up the stairs to my room and closed the curtains. I threw my dress back into the closet and pulled on some Pyjamas I found on my bedroom floor. After I'd hidden my shoes back under my bed, I re-braided my hair and sorted my hand out to erase all evidence of what I had done. I'll shower in the morning, it's too early for that shit now.

Well, that was an interesting night.

**So, yeah. There we go. It's not very good I know, but I tried and therefore you can not judge me.**

**Tell me what you thought, maybe?**


End file.
